[Reading] ➮ For Matrimonial Purposes ➶ Kavita Daswani – Dcrjservices.co.uk



10 thoughts on “For Matrimonial Purposes

  1. says:

    Entering her mid thirties, Anju has proven to be a failure as a daughter Sure, she s well educated Sure, she has a successful career as a fashion publicist Sure, she has remained a good girl despite living by herself in that den of iniquity known as New York City But she s failed to do the one thing that would define her worth and ease the anxiety she s causing her ultra conservative, ultra orthodox parents she still hasn t married.And it s not Anju s fault She s fasted, she s prayed, sh Entering her mid thirties, Anju has proven to be a failure as a daughter Sure, she s well educated Sure, she has a successful career as a fashion publicist Sure, she has remained a good girl despite living by herself in that den of iniquity known as New York City But she s failed to do the one thing that would define her worth and ease the anxiety she s causing her ultra conservative, ultra orthodox parents she still hasn t married.And it s not Anju s fault She s fasted, she s prayed, she s presented herself as meek and submissive She s allowed her mother to drag her to every swami, fortune teller, and holy man she can find She s had her birth chart read, her destiny foretold She s tried to lighten her too dark complexion She s attended parties and reunions and the weddings of others, in the hopes of making a match all to no avail She s even tried online matchmaking for Indian couples only What will it take for Anju to meet the man that others assure her has been born for her and, in the meantime, how can she balance her traditional Indian life with her increasingly independent American one Other reviews have listed two primary problems with this book the lack of a clearly defined personality in the protagonist, Anju, and the perception of the novel as a piece of fluff with little to say And, yes, this certainly isn t the type of novel that is going to deeply move you or offer profound insight into Indian culture It also has an ending that is predictable and wrapped up a little too quickly and neatly However, the aforementioned criticisms are a little harsh First, the issue of Anju s personality, which to me is not a misstep on the part of the author, although it could seem that way to an American audience who would prefer a headstrong and fiercely independent protagonist eager to break the shackles enslaving her to a patriarchal society But Anju is not American While she has been raised in a family that loves her, she has also been raised to believe that who she is will always be defined by the man who protects her first her father and later her husband She has not been encouraged to become a fully realized person and therefore is waiting for her other half, who will define her existence by setting the boundaries of what her life will be It should not be surprising that this protagonist hesitates to break with her religion and her heritage, despite sensing something is amiss with the expectations placed upon her That she is uncertain, cautious, and hesitant makes her seemreal.Second is the classification of the novel as mindless chick lit Okay, I can t defend the chick lit part And there are moments in the narrative when I became a little impatient with Anju s focus on designer shoes and the world of high fashion But it could be argued that not accustomed to having a voice or at least not confident enough to always use it , Anju is using fashion to communicate her values and her inner life to others At home in Bombay, Anju tries to look the part of the fashionable and worldly expatriate, eager to show that she has becomeindependent, less constrained by social s Yet, while attending fashion shows in the U.S and Europe, she opts out of the haute couture chic for traditional saris, demonstrating to Westerners her pride in herself as an Indian woman Anju uses fashion in an attempt to attain balance and define herself she does not want to lose that intrinsically Indian part of herself in America, but she does not want her desires and dreams to be subjugated to the search for a husband in her homeland.And the novel, while perhaps simplistic in its presentation, is not mindless Anju knows she is not just a disappointment because of her inability to marry she knows it goes back to the day she was born And then I slid out, with a minuscule slit instead of the wormlike appendage my mother had been looking forward to seeing Oh, God, she had delivered a daughter as a first born The unthinkable had happened 102 Despite being a disappointment, Anju is not unloved and does not want to alienate her family by cutting all ties with her heritage and her customs Her loneliness and alienation is real and will only worsen if she marries a white man, effectively becoming estranged from her family, or if she marries an Indian man whom she cannot love nor respect And it s very easy for Americans as just about every American character in the book does to think that a family that would expect you to enter into an arranged marriage or to define yourself by who you marry doesn t really love you But that s a bit hypocritical, no For all of our supposed independence, isn t our culture just as marriage happy, just as eager to be one half of a whole Think we re not as guilty Say Yes to the Dress, The Bachelor, at least a dozen Disney princess movies, and a wedding industry that sells fairy tales for a price that could put your first born through college suggest otherwise I knew and know plenty of women who can t wait to get married because that s what they re supposed to do They believe that s when they ll become who they were always meant to be wives and mothers The arranged bit isn t necessarily there, but a woman in her twenties is perpetually asked questions about her relationship status Seeing anyone serious And this connection is what Daswani makes work for her in For Matrimonial Purposes By presenting us with a protagonist with one foot in New York and the other in Bombay, we may see a bitof ourselves in Anju s experience than we re comfortable with All of the American superiority begins to deflate as we begin to realize much of Anju s plight may also be our own.Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder


  2. says:

    An Indian girl from a very wealthy family inherits a curse and no one wants to marry her The story is about how the very rich spend money on impressing other people with clothes, jewellery and parties, and the importance of a good meaning expensive astrologer in getting an arranged marriage But when you are cursed, it doesn t matter how much money your family has and how desperate they are to marry you off, no one presentable will present themselves The mothers for it is they who decide w An Indian girl from a very wealthy family inherits a curse and no one wants to marry her The story is about how the very rich spend money on impressing other people with clothes, jewellery and parties, and the importance of a good meaning expensive astrologer in getting an arranged marriage But when you are cursed, it doesn t matter how much money your family has and how desperate they are to marry you off, no one presentable will present themselves The mothers for it is they who decide who shall marry whom can get all the material goods and a pretty face elsewhere, minus the curse So the girl leaves India to strike out on her own and goes to New York where she ends up in a glittering job as a fashion publicist Paris, Concorde, Blahnik as everyone does in a chicklit novel, and eventually finds a man to marry The author attempts, not very successfully, to give the book depth by turning it into a moral story the heroine must find herself before she can find a husband She needn t have bothered, it was a fairly enjoyable piece of fluff anyway


  3. says:

    Very quick, easy read, but the main character, Anju, got on my last nerves Approaching 40, Anju flits back and forth between Umrica and her parents in India, looking for the perfect mate The potential suitors found by her family aren t up to her standards, but she s not having much luck on her own, either First and foremost, he has to be Indian.Toward the end of the book, Anju finally gets her man, but is disappointed that he wants to get to know her and fall in love before marriage She si Very quick, easy read, but the main character, Anju, got on my last nerves Approaching 40, Anju flits back and forth between Umrica and her parents in India, looking for the perfect mate The potential suitors found by her family aren t up to her standards, but she s not having much luck on her own, either First and foremost, he has to be Indian.Toward the end of the book, Anju finally gets her man, but is disappointed that he wants to get to know her and fall in love before marriage She simply wants to get married.To me, Anju sends mixed signals and is not sure why she wants to get married other than to appease her parents But, when opportunity presents itself, she turns it down For me, Anju is one of the msot annoying characters I ve ever read and she s told old not to know what she wants and how to obtain it Author is too quick to wrap up the end and readers have no idea how the wedding, honeymoon or marriage turn out In fact, very little details are given at all about Anju s prince charming


  4. says:

    really cannot describe the story or plot of this book There really isn t any So here s the blurb from behind the book.Anju wants a husband Equally important, her entire family wants Anju to have a husband Her life in Bombay, where a marriage can be arranged in a matter of hours, is almost solely devoted to this quest, with her anxious mother hauling her from holy site to holy site in order to consult and entreat swamis and astrologers As Anju s twenties slip away, she s fast becoming a spi really cannot describe the story or plot of this book There really isn t any So here s the blurb from behind the book.Anju wants a husband Equally important, her entire family wants Anju to have a husband Her life in Bombay, where a marriage can be arranged in a matter of hours, is almost solely devoted to this quest, with her anxious mother hauling her from holy site to holy site in order to consult and entreat swamis and astrologers As Anju s twenties slip away, she s fast becoming a spinster by her culture s standards.Only then is she able to persuade her parents to allow her to move to New York, where, she hopes, she will not be viewed as a failure Making a new life, alone, will be hard, but if the stars align, she may even find love on her own terms.Anju is born in a family in Bombay India, where girls are supposed to get married the moment they cross their teens Or at least the search for a prospective bridegroom should begin She is hauled to many get togethers, be it a marriage, a sangeet, a post marriage party or an engagement, for this is where Indian girls and their parents supposedly HUNT for grooms.The perfect boy is the one who has a good job, good family, does not have any bad habits, is rich and yes, is obviously an Indian All the girls want to marry her handsome brothers because they are rich and good looking It s basically an endless parade of arranged marriage meetings for Anju and her family.As Anju turns 26 and is still un unmarried, she decides to go to New York to study And she stays on after studies to work and finally becomes a fashion publicist But still behind all that success is her failure of finding a suitable boy and fulfilling her parent s wishes She tries all sorts of things, putting herself out there, trying on line sites and so on without any positive outcome.Okay, I guess my tone is a little sarcastic here, that s not because I did not like the book I did In fact I think Kavita Daswani is a good writer with a good sense of humour The endless efforts that her parents make to get her married are hilarious And her mother s worries about her growing age are equally funny In fact, I liked the sense of humour in the book quite a bit But beti, look at your age You re not twenty two any You re not going to get proposals like Nina and Namrata There aren t so many boys still unmarried who are older than you Maybe he s not perfect, but atleast he s like you Elderly type What I didn t like about the book It was the carpet statements that suggested that all Indian girls get married when they turn 20 All Indian girls look for rich and handsome husbands Nobody marries out of love All the married Indian girls do not work and the only worry they have is from where to hire the third maid That all Indian husbands do not passionately love their wives And so on.I mean hello What century were you living in I actually checked back to see what year this book was written in 2003 That s not quite old is it And for God s sake she lived in Mumbai If it was a story set in a village I wouldn t have disagreed But this was a little too over the top.I am not denying that arranged marriages are still prevalent in India I am just denying the fact that all marriages are arranged Not that there is anything wrong in an arranged marriage I know perfectly and totally happy couples whose marriages are arranged.She doesn t say all these things directly, but the way she has described all the people in the book certainly suggests that I wouldn t have been so irritated if she would have kept this specifically related to her circle of friends But statements that start with All Indian girls made me cringe.That I have to say spoiled most of the book for me BUT it s a good book People who know nothing about Indian culture or who don t care what image she has created will like the book It s hilarious with fun adventures of her arranged marriage efforts And yes, also how in the end she manages to kind of live in the moment and finally finds happiness in a man and a marriage apparently on her own terms


  5. says:

    I haven t readsuperficial book than this one in ages The feminist in me was cringing while reading this book it was a quick read but I kept waiting and hoping she will do something with her life that will make her not obsess over getting married but ugh Also, I absolutely hated the way she put muslim countries down in this book Saying stuff about Pakistan and other muslim countries like India is any better I literally rolled my eyes when she mentioned in passing how her parents were no I haven t readsuperficial book than this one in ages The feminist in me was cringing while reading this book it was a quick read but I kept waiting and hoping she will do something with her life that will make her not obsess over getting married but ugh Also, I absolutely hated the way she put muslim countries down in this book Saying stuff about Pakistan and other muslim countries like India is any better I literally rolled my eyes when she mentioned in passing how her parents were not barbaric Seriously keep your political agenda to yourself when writing a novel


  6. says:

    Unlike the promises on the back, I didn t laughed out loud when reading this book Maybe one small smile, but that was it Easy read though not much of a plot Always interesting to read about Indian culture, and in this one, the marriage institution, not as in what happens after the wedding but as in what happened before and during the wedding.


  7. says:

    Lots of great visuals in this one, as if it were written for a future Single Girl Comedy, but the storytelling is muchtelling than showing This happened, and then this happened, and then this happened.


  8. says:

    yawn


  9. says:

    Would have given a lower rating if I could, because this book just might be the worst book I have ever read It was so preposterous, a lot of the times I had to put the book down just to wonder what could have possibly driven a person to write this insanely Be warned this book is glaringly casteist, racist, sexist duh , homophobic and Islamophobic The protagonist, Anju, who is also the narrator, is a neurotic 33 year old unmarried orthodox Indian woman this character could have had so much Would have given a lower rating if I could, because this book just might be the worst book I have ever read It was so preposterous, a lot of the times I had to put the book down just to wonder what could have possibly driven a person to write this insanely Be warned this book is glaringly casteist, racist, sexist duh , homophobic and Islamophobic The protagonist, Anju, who is also the narrator, is a neurotic 33 year old unmarried orthodox Indian woman this character could have had so much potential, but she is written so poorly, and any attempt at genuine character development is ridden with half assed cliches Meanwhile, the other characters are dealt a worse hand if Anju is written poorly, the other characters are barely written at all The novel is full of hollow stereotypes, and anyone with any connection to India would know that literally everything in this novel is a poor Yash Chopra Karan Johar copy.Also, if this book was a satirical look at the Indian marriage market, it would have madesense, and been a better read But it s so sincere in all its vileness and stupidity that it really makes you wonder what kind of horrible human being would write it I have actually marked all the pages where the narrator says or thinks something disgusting and or pathetic, and trust me, that sthan half the book Basically, just avoid this book It ll make you angrier than you thought was possible And not even in a good way


  10. says:

    I knew right away that if I liked the book, it wouldn t be for the brilliance of the writing Consider this gem on p 14 And with her soft, fair, plump complexion, she was every Indian male s dream wife Wait, did I just read plump complexion What does that mean And I also knew right away that it wouldn t be for the political views endorsed by the author The heroine, Anju, belongs to a wealthy Sindhi family in Bombay and apparently sees nothing problematic about caste endogamy and class pr I knew right away that if I liked the book, it wouldn t be for the brilliance of the writing Consider this gem on p 14 And with her soft, fair, plump complexion, she was every Indian male s dream wife Wait, did I just read plump complexion What does that mean And I also knew right away that it wouldn t be for the political views endorsed by the author The heroine, Anju, belongs to a wealthy Sindhi family in Bombay and apparently sees nothing problematic about caste endogamy and class prejudice I m not saying the book has to be about exposing casteism, but surely a book about the institution of arranged marriages should havethan a casual mention of why the heroine is okay with sticking to the Sindhi caste only requirement for her husband One of thewonderfully subtle examples of casteism is contained in this exchange, when Anju calls her mother to tell she s found the One Indian, he s Indian no, beti Please say he is Yes, Ma, Indian Like us Everything is like us p 272, italics mine And our liberal, independent New Yorker heroine s attitudes to her parents domestic help in Bombay are mildly jarring Consider this on p 212 The jamandhar was cleaning the bathroom floors with a hard bristled brush and limewater scrubbing, scrubbing She probably had a husband, I thought She, with three missing teeth and callused hands and dark, worn skin Yes, clearly, the domestic worker s biggest problem in life would be to not have a husband and nothing to do with the fact that she s compelled to clean Anju s toilets and it s a shocking injustice that she has a husband ugly as she is and Anju doesn t Hello hello what happened to intersectionality and feminist commitment to not hegemonically representing patriarchy exclusively as the kind that is suffered by elite women Equally jarring are Anju s casual expectations to be served chai and food and khichdi by her parents domestic workers I wonder, what does she do in the New York apartment that she is so attached too Surely she wouldn t want to leave that wonderful independence back at JFK and actually start cleaning up after herself at home in Bombay I know that Anju is entitled to her voice or her story Her voice makes it very difficult to not be reminded of the wealthy, upper caste Indians who go to the US and loudly proclaim their allegiance to the ideals of liberalism and equality and modernity while retaining all their religious prejudice, their casteism and their classism The problem comes when the latter are represented as being part of the exotic Indian package Anju isn t just Indian she s about as representative of Indian women as Paris Hilton is of an American woman and it s rather irritating to have reviewers call the book Bridget Jones s diary with a distinct Indian flavor Library journal, emphasis mine or matchmaking Indian style collides with love American style Publishers weekly It s grossly simplistic and reductive and not to mention, offensive to have this seen as representative of Indian marriages, a view that Daswani herself is clearly deluded enough to believe


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For Matrimonial Purposes download For Matrimonial Purposes, read online For Matrimonial Purposes, kindle ebook For Matrimonial Purposes, For Matrimonial Purposes bc3e89ce40b3 Anju Wants A Husband Equally Important, Her Entire Family Wants Anju To Have A Husband Her Life In Bombay, Where A Marriage Can Be Arranged In A Matter Of Hours, Is Almost Solely Devoted To This Quest, With Her Anxious Mother Hauling Her From Holy Site To Holy Site In Order To Consult And Entreat Swamis And Astrologers As Anju S Twenties Slip Away, She S Fast Becoming A Spinster By Her Culture S Standards, So She Moves To New York City To Work In FashionFor Matrimonial Purposes Is The Hilarious Story Of Anju S Journey, Her Quest For Love, And The Choices That She Must Make While Trying To Remain True To Herself And Satisfy Her Family And Tradition